February 1975, the screams of a new-born child pierce the night in Watford. Who could have known what evil had been unleashed upon the world.
After some close calls with the fashion police about dodgy hand knitted cardigans, the young cHeWtOy realised he was different. School brought the taunts of fashion conscious fellow adolescents, prompting the teenage freak to write poetry (as you do...), examples of which are published on what he likes to call the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" page. It was early in this period of his life that he discovered that the charts weren't the only source of music, there was decent stuff to be found out there too! He started slowly with bands such as Iron Maiden and Whitesnake, but swiftly moved onto bands such as Metallica, Anthrax, Pantera and Annihilator. He also began his love of electronic music with Depeche Mode.
By the 6th form he was finally coming to terms with being alone and settling down with the only companion he has ever been comfortable with, his computer. One day at University everything changed. He walked into a computer room and discovered his true love: The Internet. Unlike many of the freaks who found the Internet he was not interested in interacting with other intelligent life forms using the computer as a mere interface, his interests lay purely with gathering information. His weight began to increase...
Musically he began to enjoy the sounds of electronic instruments mixed with guitars, he began to discover bands such as Cubanate, Die Krupps, Nine Inch Nails, Pop Will Eat Itself, Prodigy and White Zombie. Bands without synthesisers were still a staple of his musical diet though, especially bands such as Machine Head, Sepultura and Korn. University also saw the start of his comic collecting, starting with a few Batman titles, but swiftly growing to include mature readers titles such as Sandman, Doom Patrol and Preacher he also started reading Independent titles such as Strangers in Paradise and Cerebus.
After University he cut his hair and started looking for a job, and he was found by NetDirect. He swiftly passed through the helpdesk ranks to the exhalted position of Systems Administrator, and then Technical Manager. Now the only thing to match the growth of his computer knowledge is the growth of his stomach.
December 1997 brought on the discovery of Jack Off Jill, a Florida band whose "Sexless Demons and Scars" album touched the darkest depths of his twisted soul. He took a new identity from the lyrics of the song "Swollen" ("Hey chewtoy head you're swollen, and disfigured"). He became cHeWtOy. Their songs of hate, self-mutilation and perversions, especially "Swollen", "Poor Impulse Control" and "Horrible", are the perfect companion to his battered psyche.
Proud to be different, Freaks Rule OK!
For some of his recent ramblings go read the random meanerings page...